New Fast-Food Review Montage

It seems every other week there's some sort of new food item at every fast food chain. I think most people are too scared to break their routines to try these new, often terrifying food-stuffs but luckily, I am not too scared and am more than happy to share my experiences with you here:


Sonic: Mango Limeade


Oh Sonic and your limeades, what flavor combos will you not blindly pursue? Soon enough, you'll be throwing black currant and dragonfruit limeades at your unsuspecting victims. That's not to say that I wouldn't try or enjoy these potential treats nor that did not enjoy the treat in question. The quality of the Mango Limeade is actually quite difficult to describe so I'll break it down into an inexact sip-timeline - a sipline, if you will:

1st-5th sips: mmmmmm, refreshing and quite tasty
2nd-10th sips: kinda sticky and - is that sweet n' low I taste?
11th-end: DO NOT WANT

So the enjoyment of this drink is synonomous to that of Fruit Stripe Gum: great for the first 15%, crap for the rest.

Final Grade: C
Image from here


Jack in the Box: Mini-Sirloin Burgers


Riding on the antiquated coattails of White Castle and with a catchy tune in their favor, Jack in the Box has added tinier, crappier, expensivier versions of their already offensively terrible burgers to their surprisingly broad menu (where else can you get a pita, egg rolls, and jalapeño poppers at a drive-thru?). They give you 3 of these hambortions for ~$4 (after tax) with no fries and no drink, though you can opt for a combo if so choose for an additional 2 bucks. The price is a little baffling because a full-size Jumbo Jack only costs 99 cents, making them cheaper than their mini-sirloin counterparts. 

I could barely choke my through two of these. AVOID unless you're crazy/food-ignorant and already voluntarily enjoy Jack.

Final Grade: D
Image from here


So it goes,
Maddox

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